Welcome to the legendary father of wisdom blog!: Blind dating!

My name is Samuel M Lee, and I was the leading figure of wisdom for 18 years. This is a website that is ran by your donations!

Dating-Habit Experiment

The following discourse is an exposition of the insights garnered from an experimental investigation into the dynamics of courtship.

The question arises as to whether the modification of exercise and diet habits has the potential to engender analogous changes in the realm of romantic relationships. The following ten lessons have been deduced from the experiment conducted on blind dating.

During the initial stages of courtship, or when experiencing the emotional effects of romantic attraction towards another individual, it is not uncommon for an individual to experience a sensation of déjà vu. It has been demonstrated that individuals' professions, hair colours and heights may differ from those of former partners; however, their aversion to commitment, tendency towards infidelity and perceived unavailability are often analogous.

In the context of courtship, it has been observed that the subject tends to seek out individuals who exhibit characteristics similar to those previously encountered. These individuals are often characterised by their charm, intellectual pretensions, and flirtatiousness, yet ultimately demonstrate a lack of genuine interest in the subject. The pursuit of ephemeral and elusive entities serves as a means of maintaining engagement, yet it does not engender profound emotional bonds.

Philosopher and author Alain de Botton hypothesises that this destructive dating pattern may be attributable to emotional responses. The present study posits that an overreliance on instincts or intuition as a primary guide to identify a suitable partner can be problematic. This phenomenon, as de Botton elucidates, is frequently distorted by individual experiences, leading to a misinterpretation of its true essence. The objective of the present study is not merely to ascertain whether the phenomenon of love is present, but rather to establish the presence of a more fundamental human need for familiarity.

It appears that a significant number of individuals are not reliable when it comes to matters pertaining to their personal lives. However, the question remains whether modifying our exercise or dietary routines can also transform our romantic lives.

The objective of this study was to ascertain whether it was possible to modify habitual dating tendencies. During a period of three months, acquaintances, acquaintances of acquaintances, and professional contacts arranged meetings with individuals with whom I had no prior connection.

Equipped solely with a name and a telephone number, I embarked on a series of dates, numbering more than a dozen, in various establishments including cafes, rooftop bars and pubs. The underlying premise of this endeavour was that by allowing others to make choices on my behalf, I would be presented with a diverse range of experiences, thereby diversifying my social circle and potentially expanding my horizons in terms of potential romantic partners. A small number of goodnight kisses were exchanged, and a smaller proportion of these individuals subsequently engaged in second dates. The interactions were characterised by a range of behaviours, including stunted conversations and moments of levity, culminating in a spectrum of interactions ranging from sexual advances to direct rejections.

The conclusion of my experiment in blind dating provided a more profound understanding of the manner in which we approach the quest for love, the societal misconceptions regarding the state of being single, and the narratives we construct during the pursuit of romantic partners. This realisation surpassed my initial expectations.

“The objective of the present study is not merely to ascertain whether the phenomenon of love is present, but rather to determine whether the concept of familiarity is also a factor.”

– Alain de Botton

The following ten lessons are derived from an experiment conducted on the subject of dating habits.

The first lesson is concerned with the process of evaluating one's own assumptions.

A persistent concern regarding potential rejection has frequently prompted me to spontaneously conclude whether a social encounter will or will not result in a kiss, whether the individual will extend a subsequent invitation, or whether they will initiate communication the following day. I was convinced of my ability to read minds. As a result, I would deliberately terminate a social engagement or conversation at the opportune moment to avoid being rebuffed. I would reassure myself that if a certain method had previously been effective, it was guaranteed to produce the same outcome once more.

In order to disrupt the established pattern of conjecture during the course of the experiment, a multiple-choice quiz was disseminated at the conclusion of each date, thus enabling the determination of the actual outcome with greater certainty. While each date was aware that I was "experimenting" with the concept of dating, some were taken aback by my blunt request to know if they wanted to: a) go on a second date; b) be friends; c) have sexual relations; d) none of the above. The present study found that others found the experience refreshing, and the researcher found it yielded surprising responses.

Following an encounter that was marked by an inauspicious start, a satisfactory middle and an perplexing denouement, it seemed highly improbable that I would receive a response to my survey. It was unexpected to find that the recipient of the message was charmed by its directness. They expressed a desire to meet again and were pleased to have the opportunity to explain their discomfort at the conclusion of the social encounter.

It was evident that the accuracy of these premonitions was not infallible, and it was also discovered that the fear of rejection was unwarranted. The response may be unwelcome, but it may also be appreciated. It is impossible to ascertain the thoughts of another person, nor to distinguish between a hesitant pause and an impending rejection or a natural manifestation of shyness.

It is imperative to disengage from the influence of prior experiences when navigating contemporary circumstances, and to approach each new encounter as if it were distinct, which it inherently is.

The second lesson is concerned with the notion of rejection and the understanding that it should not be perceived as a personal affront.

The most alarming aspect of being rejected is not necessarily the act itself, but rather the manner in which we permit it to influence our sense of self. It is possible to interpret a refusal of a second date as indicative of a significant personal weakness. However, it should be noted that a single rejection by one individual does not necessarily imply a universal rejection by the broader human population. Indeed, the issue rarely pertains to the individual in question.

It became evident that individuals' lives are characterised by diverse experiences and that their dating habits influence their personal histories. This enabled me to adopt a more relaxed approach, as I recognised that an individual's conduct on the occasion of our initial encounter was largely unrelated to my own actions.

There is an unidentifiable and uncontrollable phenomenon that facilitates the formation of interpersonal relationships. Some refer to this phenomenon as a "spark", and the absence of this spark does not imply the absence of other noteworthy qualities.

Thirdly, it is important to recall the desired outcome.

In the majority of cases, it is possible to acknowledge that the initial enthusiasm was lacking when faced with rejection.

On previous occasions, I had adopted the practice of refraining from formulating my own sentiments until I had ascertained those of another individual. The affirmation derived from their esteem served to facilitate my transition into a state of near-affiliation. However, it was invariably contingent on the desires of another.

When an individual loses track of their emotions, they may become oblivious to that aspect of their psyche that initially signalled the impropriety of the situation. It is imperative to establish a clear understanding of our own desires and wants. By doing so, we can ensure that others no longer exert a significant influence over us or possess the capacity to disappoint.

Fourth lesson: The identity of individuals who are attracted to you may be a source of surprise.

There is no checklist of attributes that must be fulfilled by a prospective partner; however, it has been realised that a rigid picture of the options available when it comes to choosing a partner is held. The tall, handsome, athletic gentleman employed in the field of finance is not a person whom I would ordinarily consider to be a potential romantic interest.

Nevertheless, given the multifaceted and malleable nature of attraction, it is unfeasible to impose preferences on the basis of dubious assumptions. The appeal of an individual to another is often unpredictable. It is imperative to relinquish preconceived notions and checklists that are rooted in prior experiences, and instead, to embrace an openness to the unexpected.

In this lesson, the theory of rapid change in initial impressions will be examined.

The hypothesis that a strong first impression requires no more than seven seconds to create was not supported by the findings of the experiment. The apparent charisma of certain individuals diminished as the date progressed, while others, initially perceived as reserved and uninteresting, elicited a strong positive response by the conclusion of the encounter.

The notion of a person being defined by a mere initial interaction or online profile is a simplistic and reductive one. If we were to refrain from superimposing character traits onto an individual based on a brief interaction, it may be possible to gain a more accurate understanding of their true nature.

Sixthly, the importance of friendship should be recognised.

Society's tendency to elevate romantic love to a pedestal serves to diminish the significance of the love experienced towards friends, family and community. When individuals engage in courtship, they often do so with the expectation of encountering a profound and idealised romantic connection that culminates in a felicitous conclusion. This expectation often leads to a disregard of alternative outcomes that may prove equally fulfilling.

A collateral benefit of this experiment was the establishment of strong friendships, which may have been overlooked if the primary objective had been solely to find love, as opposed to addressing problematic behaviours. Adopting a non-prescriptive approach to the pursuit of romantic relationships has been demonstrated to engender a more receptive mindset, allowing the individual to explore and exploit novel opportunities.

In her recent book, Becoming Wise, Krista Tippett articulates this perspective as follows: The sudden realisation that the absence of love in one's life was not an inherent reality, but rather a deficiency in imagination and an overly restricted utilisation of a fundamental term, is a profound and transformative insight.

The present author is beginning to recognise the multifarious forms that love can take, and how a friendship can expand one's world, introducing new people and experiences.

The seventh lesson is concerned with the recognition of safety nets.

As the experiment progressed, the uniformity of the data became a source of monotony. It became apparent that the content of my discourse had become repetitive, consisting of the reiteration of well-received anecdotes and the posing of predictable enquiries. The experiment was employed as a conversational catalyst. In the event of encountering a situation of this nature, I would be inclined to adopt an overly cerebral disposition, as opposed to engaging in the kind of awkward flirtatious banter that is so often the norm. Alternatively, I would adopt a coquettish demeanour with the intention of avoiding a conversation of a more conventional nature, such as discussing hobbies or the subject of one's place of origin.

It has been demonstrated that individuals tend to gravitate towards subjects that they find straightforward to discuss in situations where they are experiencing feelings of anxiety. However, in this particular instance, it was observed that the utilisation of these subjects functioned as a means of creating a psychological barrier, thereby facilitating a sense of protection. This behaviour could be interpreted as a manifestation of a psychological defence mechanism, employed to avoid confronting internal challenges or emotions.

The experiment itself constituted a means of ensuring safety and the wearing of a mask if required. However, upon reflection, I recognise that I have, on occasion, failed to fully engage with others, thereby missing opportunities to establish meaningful connections.

The eighth lesson posits that it is an uncommon occurrence to encounter an individual with whom one shares a meaningful connection.

The conclusion of the experiment revealed that the results from the post-date surveys, when combined with the author's personal sentiments, indicated that a physical and emotional connection had been established with 23 per cent of the participants. With regard to the establishment of a connection analogous to the concept of love, this objective was not achieved. The conclusion of the experiment did not result in the initiation of a new romantic relationship and subsequent departure into the sunset, characterised by a state of inebriation.

Such prospects may appear bleak, yet from a long-term perspective, it is reassuring for the unpartnered individual to recognise that their relationship status is not determined by factors such as physical attributes, waistline, employment status, or perceived personality deficiencies. The probability of such an outcome is minimal from the outset. Although the process of identifying a compatible partner may appear straightforward for some, the phenomenon of serendipitously encountering a person who is both compatible and ready for a relationship is, in fact, quite rare. The convergence of life circumstances, attraction, compatibility, and readiness is a complex and often elusive condition that is difficult to achieve.

The quest for romantic love should not be equated with the pursuit of a professional career, nor should it be pursued with the same unrelenting fervour as if it were a means of personal fulfilment.

In the ninth lesson, the emphasis is placed on the importance of prioritising actions over verbal statements.

In consideration of the aforementioned temporal periods, it was evident that a profound physical and emotional connection was established. This led to an inclination to cling to even the most tenuous promises of a future. When one individual expressed a desire to reconnect, yet simultaneously conveyed a sense of being inundated with commitments, the sentiment of affection was overwhelmingly received.

It is important to note that individuals will typically disclose their identity and desires if one is attentive and observant. The significance of actions cannot be overstated.

Tenth lesson: It is imperative to recognise that the only survey that holds any significance is the one that is conducted by the individual concerned.

In the context of a Hollywood-style romantic comedy script, the female protagonist's journey towards self-realisation culminates in the realisation that the male character had been present throughout, thus revealing the experiment as a mere facade designed to orchestrate their encounter. The Hollywood script, however, did not materialise. Contrary to my initial assumptions, I discovered that the disinterested individual was not a beneficial match for me. The subject was able to dismiss those individuals who exhibited a reluctance to commit, a tendency to be easily distracted, or an impression of being unavailable. This was due to a newfound realisation that they are entitled to higher standards of both themselves and others.

The most significant realisation was that the only dating habit that required modification was the one in which I perceived myself as lacking in a state of incompleteness in the absence of a romantic partnership.

Thirteen encounters with complete strangers were required to demonstrate that the subject's single status is not indicative of personal deficiencies. It was determined that the subject is not flawed and does not require probing, testing or experimentation to ascertain defects.

As of the tenth day, the distribution of the survey was discontinued, and the commencement of an introspective period was initiated. It is important to note that an experiment cannot automatically adjust lifelong habits that perpetuate self-sabotage loops or limiting thoughts about oneself. However, it can bring attention to these habits.

It can be hypothesised that the true experiment does not lie in the pursuit of becoming who one perceives oneself to be in order to attract another, but rather in the cultivation of contentment with one's authentic self, irrespective of whether a social engagement has been scheduled for Friday evening.

Why Blind Dates Are a Good Idea

The following twelve points provide a rationale for the efficacy of blind dates.

The notion of a "blind date" is often associated with a bygone era, yet it can be argued that this form of courtship remains a contemporary approach to amorous encounters. The utilisation of blind dates has been identified as a highly efficacious method of interpersonal interaction, one which has the potential to supersede the utilisation of dating applications. This assertion, however, is merely one of the numerous advantages associated with blind dating.

It is acknowledged that blind dates can be a source of trepidation for some individuals; however, it is asserted that embarking on such an endeavour does not necessitate the same level of caution as commonly perceived. Instead, it is contended that blind dates present a valuable and promising prospect that merits consideration.

Firstly, it is necessary to define the term 'blind date'. The term "blind date" refers to a social encounter between two individuals who do not know each other, which is arranged by an intermediary. For instance, an individual might arrange a blind date for two mutual acquaintances under the impression that they would be a suitable match for each other. Similarly, a person might arrange a blind date for a colleague with their sibling, assuming that there are shared interests between the two individuals. However, this is not the only option available; professional matchmaking services are also available, which organise blind dates between two compatible matches.

The question therefore arises as to whether blind dates are a beneficial endeavour. The following 12 reasons provide a comprehensive overview of the salient issues.

1. In situations where individuals find themselves with limited time to engage in the process of selecting potential romantic partners through the utilisation of mobile dating applications, blind dates emerge as a viable alternative.

It must be acknowledged that the utilisation of dating applications necessitates a considerable investment of time and effort. A comparison of the time commitment required for traditional courtship with that of the utilisation of dating applications reveals a marked discrepancy. The process entails the creation of a profile, the navigation of potential matches, and the initiation of conversations prior to the arrangement of a physical encounter. Individuals may allocate a significant proportion of their weekly time to engaging with dating platforms, with this engagement not inclusive of the time spent on actual dates.

In the context of blind dating, the participant's sole responsibility is to be present at the designated time and location. This approach eliminates the necessity for extensive preparatory work, allowing individuals to focus on enjoying the company of a new acquaintance for a duration of one or two hours.

2. Blind dates facilitate encounters with individuals devoid of preconceived expectations.

In the event of planning a social engagement with an individual previously encountered via a dating application, it is probable that assumptions have been made regarding the person's appearance, pastimes, interests, or other particulars concerning their life. Even if an individual has a positive sentiment towards another person, they are already forming judgments and expectations based on their dating profile or the progression of a text conversation.

In the context of blind dates, individuals often engage in social interactions without prior knowledge or visual cues regarding their companion. It is evident that, excluding the supposition that the parties in question would be well-suited to each other, there is a paucity of additional information available. Consequently, the individual with whom the date is shared is devoid of any preconceived notions regarding the participant, thereby facilitating an unencumbered approach to the date and a spontaneous exploration of mutual acquaintances.

3. The organisation of blind dates is a relatively simple matter.

It is important to consider that both parties are equally interested in meeting each other, and that they are likely to have the same objective of finding a suitable partner. Given the plethora of options available on dating applications, it can be challenging to differentiate between individuals who are merely seeking casual encounters and those who are genuinely interested in pursuing a serious relationship.

Furthermore, concerns regarding discrepancies in physical appearance or the exaggeration of particular attributes due to the absence of prior knowledge are rendered moot, as the process of acquiring information occurs in real time. The concept of meticulously curated profiles is no longer a feature of the platform; rather, blind dates enable users to initiate relationships without the constraints of preconceived expectations.

4. The phenomenon of blind dates has been shown to facilitate a one-to-one connection (Smith, 2023).

The challenge of sustaining meaningful interactions and experiences in the context of mobile dating applications is further compounded by the absence of physical interaction, particularly in cases where interactions occur predominantly through digital channels. In the event of encountering uncertainty regarding the prospect of embarking on a blind date, it is recommended to engage in introspection by assessing the nature of interactions with individuals previously encountered on blind date occasions. In the event that this proves unsuccessful, it is recommended that the subject be encouraged to attend a social gathering with a person with whom they have not previously had an opportunity to engage in conversation. It is hypothesised that such an event may result in the establishment of a meaningful connection.

5. The experience of blind dating has been shown to encourage individuals to consider partners who do not conform to their usual type.

A significant number of dating applications permit the user to filter potential matches based on specific criteria, including interests, religion, and even physical traits. However, unless the absence of a specific filter is a deal-breaker for the individual, such filters have the potential to significantly restrict the available pool of potential partners, thereby preventing the opportunity to engage with those who might otherwise be compatible.

Conversely, the act of being set up on a blind date by another person can be regarded as an opportunity to broaden one's social horizons. This approach offers the potential for encountering individuals with whom one might not otherwise have had the chance to interact, had the choice of companionship been within one's own hands. Venturing to engage in relationships with individuals who are not aligned with one's customary type has been demonstrated to engender novel perspectives, facilitate the acquisition of hitherto unexplored experiences, and potentially result in a process of self-discovery.

In the context of courtship, it is imperative to extend opportunities to individuals, irrespective of their differences from those with whom one has previously engaged in romantic relationships. The potential for subsequent romantic involvement, as indicated by the concept of "chemistry", is an unpredictable outcome of the initial encounter.

6. The phenomenon of blind dates can be regarded as a potential avenue for the facilitation of more meticulously curated matches.

The appeal of blind dating lies in the fact that the encounter is not arbitrary. The motivation behind the encouragement of the couple to convene is of particular interest. For instance, they may exhibit comparable personality traits, relationship aspirations, dreams, values, or pastimes. It is evident that there is a fundamental similarity between the two subjects that lends itself to the proposition that they would be well-suited as a couple.

To illustrate this point, consider the process of matchmaking. Tawkify offers a hybrid service that combines the personalised interaction of in-person dating with the convenience of online dating. Rather than relying on algorithms, the company's matchmakers meticulously curate matches, ensuring a bespoke experience for each client. The contemporary approach to courtship is no longer characterised by the time-consuming practice of perusing numerous profiles with the aspiration of identifying a suitable partner. The process entails the utilisation of a matchmaker, who functions as a trusted confidant, to identify individuals with compatible characteristics, taking into account the client's objectives, lifestyle, and preferences. The result of this study is set out below. The process of hand-selecting matches and meticulously planning dates is intended to instil hope in individuals seeking a suitable partner.

7. The utilisation of blind dates has been demonstrated to facilitate the establishment of relationships with individuals who share one's own relationship objectives.

The objective of blind dates is often to facilitate connections between individuals who share similar objectives, such as seeking a long-term partnership. This development has the potential to reduce the time expended on the preliminary stages of courtship, such as the sifting through of profiles and the exchange of text messages, with a view to ascertaining the nature of the relationship. In the context of a blind date, it can be assumed that both parties are on the same page. In the event of uncertainty, direct enquiry is recommended.

8. The utilisation of blind dates has been identified as a efficacious strategy for individuals seeking to re-enter the dating scene.

The process of entering the online dating scene following the dissolution of a relationship has been shown to engender feelings of overwhelmingness in some individuals. Furthermore, the additional task of perusing the numerous potential matches on dating applications must be considered. It is not surprising that dating can appear to be a challenging endeavour.

A comparison of the two scenarios reveals that embarking on a blind date is a less daunting prospect. Indeed, embarking on a one-to-one encounter with a partner who has been meticulously selected for you may prove to be a more agreeable and fulfilling experience than the process of acquiring an in-depth understanding of the intricacies involved in the utilisation of dating applications. Furthermore, engaging with individuals outside the ambit of dating applications may facilitate a gradual re-entry into the dating milieu, at a cadence that resonates with one's personal tempo.

9. The experience of blind dating has been shown to be a less frustrating and less deflating experience than online dating (Jones, 2020).

Online dating has been shown to exact a significant psychological toll on its participants (Smith, 2023). Dating fatigue is real!

However, blind dates have been shown to be a more positive experience than online dating (Jones, 2023). Notwithstanding the probability of not encountering one's life partner on the inaugural blind date, the likelihood of encountering an individual who is at least a suitable match is high. These experiences, which are more targeted, have been found to be more rewarding than the act of scrolling through profiles and sending messages that may lead nowhere. The question therefore arises as to whether blind dates are a worthwhile endeavour. In the event of experiencing a sense of exhaustion in relation to dating, it may be beneficial to consider the approach of blind dating.

10. It has been argued that blind dates can be more exciting than online dating.

Blind dating can be defined as a process characterised by anticipation. The process entails the establishment of a connection with an individual who has been meticulously selected on behalf of the individual with whom the connection is to be formed, without the possibility of prior observation. Indeed, there are nerves to be considered, yet it is equally exciting to ponder the identity of the individual in question. Even in the absence of a romantic connection, the individual in question is likely to be a worthwhile acquaintance.

11. Blind dates are a method of facilitating interpersonal relationships in person.

A substantial amount of time is dedicated to dating applications; however, research findings indicate that 17% of male respondents and 24% of female respondents have not engaged in an in-person encounter for the purpose of a romantic rendezvous. The notion that online dating can be likened to the act of pen pal correspondence rather than the more conventional practice of meeting in person is one that is not without foundation.

Conversely, blind dates are typically arranged in person. The user is able to view the profile of the date, thereby facilitating the establishment of an initial rapport. The decision regarding whether or not to proceed to a second meeting can then be made. The practice of blind dating encourages individuals to transition offline and engage in face-to-face interactions with potential partners, thereby enhancing their interpersonal skills and reducing the time and effort required to establish a romantic connection.

12. The phenomenon of blind dates has been shown to result in long-term romantic relationships.

Should you be uncertain as to the efficacy of blind dates, it is important to note that they can serve as an effective medium in the search for a long-term romantic partner. A notable advantage of blind dating is the absence of many of the pitfalls associated with dating apps, such as unmet expectations, burnout, or individuals distorting the truth about their identity or relationship aspirations. This approach is both straightforward and deliberate in its methodology, with the objective of facilitating romantic relationships.

However, it is not necessary to accept this assertion uncritically. An examination of the matchmaking success stories provided by Tawkify reveals that numerous couples have discovered long-term romantic relationships through blind dating on the website. It is possible to gain a more in-depth understanding of the matchmaking process and the ways in which Tawkify can assist individuals in locating romantic partners by means of the company's proven blind-date format.